Today I'm feeling forgiven .... so if I have hurt any of you by my words, actions or lack ... I am so so sorry ... please forgive me....

the longer
I live
the more mistakes
I make

the more mistakes
I make
the more I need
to say
I'm sorry

not for what you did
not for what you said
but for what
I did and
for what
I said

when I release
forgiveness for
myself
I free you
and
I free me

because

your behavior
doesn't dictate
my response
I do that all
on my
own

Epiphany

In the final scheme
of things
it won't matter if I
was justified
in what I did
and what I said

what will matter is
if I apologized
for my wrongs
to you
and to
me

and you
will have to
take care of you
yourself

We who were
More
Are now less
And by being less
We are more than
Enough


Numbers

First just one
And then just two
Three and four
Not just a few

Minus one and then two more
Three come in
One out the door

Makes for four now five now six
One is gone
One can't mix

Full house
Only one way to go
One by one they grow
And go

Now just two
And life is sweet
Full or empty life's a treat

I have
Three sisters
And a mom

I was one of four
Girls

I was one of three
Younger sisters

I was one of two
Middle sisters

I was one of one
Disowned

I have sisters by choice
Not by birth
I am not
Alone

Today
We've been married
44 years
Today
My sister moved
Out
Today
I slept in
Pulled weeds
Ate cake
And tuna sandwiches
Because today life is grand

time to let go

holding on too hard
and too long
the past is past
wrongs still are wrong

time doesn't matter
when hurt stays strong
only letting go
will right some wrongs

its not giving up
its not giving in
its not saying
sins not sin

its just giving back
dignity for pain
its just giving back
sun for rain

sometimes it takes
a lot of rain
before the sun
can shine again

a season for anger
a season to grieve
a season for a heart
to grow and live

now is my season
now is my time
i pray that you know
when your time is mine

today is forever
and for today
I can hold you and giggle
I can put you in my lap and cuddle
I can stroke your furry softness

and for today
I can breathe in your soft breath
I can hide in my pillow from your doggy kisses
I can revel in your funny grin

and for today
I can race you to the chair
I can save the cat from your wrath
I can watch as you scout out the yard for danger

because today is forever
and tomorrow
tomorrow is not yet to be





I am growing older
and I can see the number of my days
but not yet

They are formless
hinting at a greater loss
but not yet

they dream of shorter steps and
runless days
but not yet

they promise only less
not more
but not yet

because today
is the day of life

and it is the day
I celebrate
not yet

made and unmade

made by my mother
unmade by her pain
made by my father
unmade by disdain

made by my friends
unmade as I grew
made by my voices
unmade by them too

made by my lovers
unmade when love fled
made by my husband
the unmaking I dread

made by my children
grandchildren
and more

made by myself
now I'm no longer
poor

The house
Windows drooping in sleepy
Obedience
Doors whisper to their jambs
Stairs give up their burdenous day
Creaking with heartfelt sighs

Tomorrow may we be filled
With laughter ... Love ... You
Again


sun drenched doves wings
Gaily play
With blue hills racing by
They tip their wings
At seagulls
Shades against the sky

The pull of tide, the sands warm breath
Draw seas and shells ashore
They'll sit and watch eternity
As we do evermore


The bright moon is my nightlight
The stars they light my way
They fairy dust the night time sky
And wander wild and fey

The wind directs my footfalls
As I join their midnight play
Until the morning steals their light
And moonfall fades to day

For you Carolyn