Whatever / Whenever

I visited my home two weeks ago.
Not my home of now, but my home of then. It was amazingly unchanged, kind of.
The sidewalk is the same, the house is gone.
The corner is the same, the tree is gone.
Marie's house is the same, Marie is gone.
The fall smelled crisp, the old field had neatly mown grass.
The rain trickled down the window, neatly whisked away by automatic windshield wipers.

I had the strange sense of being in two places at once, wrapped in a mental time machine that never moved; it just tweaked my senses.

Blog of the Day

I'm thinking of renaming this: Blog of the Whatever.

Whatever. What a wonderful word. It is unsubstantial, ephermeral, uncommitted, random, unrealized. It is an answer to the great 'What' questions of life. The simple ones: "What do you want for dinner?" The complex ones: "What is it that you want?"

I'll try it out. I'll taste it on my tongue
I'll take a sip at bedtime
I'll gulp it down in the morning
If it works; great.
If not; well,
Whatever.

Blog of the Day

February 22, 2007

Today I haven't blogged in a while, but today I am compelled to blog. Why? I don't know.

I am afraid

You are 12
I am fifty
You are 5’
I am five foot seven
You are 100 pounds
I am one hundred sixty pounds
You are a little girl
I am a grown woman
You have experienced nothing
I have lived a thousand years
Yet
I tremble as you stand before me
My stomach rounds on me
My heart pounds
I am afraid of what you will do
To you.

Blog of the Day ... September 28, 06

The GRE, Graduate Record Exam. It even sounds intimidating. How to study? How to eat an elephant ... one bite at a time. I have 30 days, no; I have 39 days. sigh. I was excited for Trina, now I'm terrified for myself. I like the first way better.

Hawthorne, Melville and Poe. The three giants of the 1800's and New England. My old stomping ground; New England. Cities in Vermont are still trying to secede from the United States. Illegal aliens are struggling to find a place in the United States and a young black woman filling out a job application tries to select Arizona as the country she lives in. States juggle for a bigger piece of the money pie, politicians try to balance selling out their constituents with supporting them and fail on both ends. According to one wise high school senior there is no hunger in America. Is a balance between prosperity and personal freedom possible when the hunger for more cannot be satisfied?

So much is awry in some many areas at once. It's like trying to stop a flood with a sieve.

Blog of the Day ... September 2006

Where did it go. It was just May a minute ago and now it's nearly October. Hang on September, hang on. Don't run away, I will stop chasing you, I promise. My little girl, 35 yesterday and only six the day before.

I'm prepping for the subject test for the GRE, November 4th. Ohh am I nervous. No, not really. It's not life or death, it's only money and school.

Jessica and Jennifer are still here. Aaron started kindergarten and Jessica is in first grade. Sara and Katlyn start high school next year, the twins are close to middle school and Missy is in the middle of elementary school. Melissa is working where Susie was, Susie's in Colorado and mom is living with Frances. Jerry's better and then worse, but still bowling and my hip is starting to burn in the morning. MTV is starting to look like the mid-70's again with more skin this time and Vietnam is raging in Iraq.

I'm surviving Algebra, French is fantastic and Hawthorne is never out of date. Moby Dick is interminable and Poe depressingly desperate. I can feel the dark gloomy winter days as they leap from his pen.

And life goes on ....

but slow down ..