I don't want to be
honest
it means being
vulnerable

you
seeing
me

naked
my heart exposed
my failings revealed
my warts
lies
cheats
anger
words
visible

but

if you don't see me
how will I know
if you
like me
at
all

Loneliness

is not
being alone
is not
missing family
is not
living away
is not
a singles bar
one tv dinner
one dirty spoon in the sink

cannot be cured
by
people
places
things
action
excitement
sex
money
toys

it is
another type
of cancer
destroys the
heart

it runs from
open arms
open heart
giving
loving
encouragement
compansionship
laughter
stepping outside
forgetting me
moving from
internal
to external

the disease
self-want
the cure
helping others
knowing
yourself

No Wig

eyes slant
sideways
creeping
under my
hat

what's there
isn't visible
I see
ears
but
nothing
else

Counting

Friday
three more weeks
until
okay

I lose
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
part of
Thursday
then
awake
Friday

two more weeks
until
okay

eat
clean my room
do the dishes
go out
see a movie
visit mom
sleep
again
sleep
again
sleep
Friday

one more week
until
okay
stew
tastes
like food
wig
itches
I can
look for scarves
find hats
go shopping
eat lunch
laugh
giggle
argue
complain
grin
hug
remember
until
Friday
comes again

Blanks

Fill in the
blanks
chemo
Friday
lunch then
um

okay
Saturday
the kids spent
the night and we
watched movies and ate
um

okay
Easter Sunday
honey ham
potatoes
cornbread
with the kids
and then we
um

Monday
blur
bowl
Tuesday
work
blur
sleep
Wednesday
Thursday
got up and ate
looked at the garden
until
Friday

Friday I worked
watered my garden
played with the kids
Friday I
remember