Blog of the Day ... September 28, 06

The GRE, Graduate Record Exam. It even sounds intimidating. How to study? How to eat an elephant ... one bite at a time. I have 30 days, no; I have 39 days. sigh. I was excited for Trina, now I'm terrified for myself. I like the first way better.

Hawthorne, Melville and Poe. The three giants of the 1800's and New England. My old stomping ground; New England. Cities in Vermont are still trying to secede from the United States. Illegal aliens are struggling to find a place in the United States and a young black woman filling out a job application tries to select Arizona as the country she lives in. States juggle for a bigger piece of the money pie, politicians try to balance selling out their constituents with supporting them and fail on both ends. According to one wise high school senior there is no hunger in America. Is a balance between prosperity and personal freedom possible when the hunger for more cannot be satisfied?

So much is awry in some many areas at once. It's like trying to stop a flood with a sieve.

Blog of the Day ... September 2006

Where did it go. It was just May a minute ago and now it's nearly October. Hang on September, hang on. Don't run away, I will stop chasing you, I promise. My little girl, 35 yesterday and only six the day before.

I'm prepping for the subject test for the GRE, November 4th. Ohh am I nervous. No, not really. It's not life or death, it's only money and school.

Jessica and Jennifer are still here. Aaron started kindergarten and Jessica is in first grade. Sara and Katlyn start high school next year, the twins are close to middle school and Missy is in the middle of elementary school. Melissa is working where Susie was, Susie's in Colorado and mom is living with Frances. Jerry's better and then worse, but still bowling and my hip is starting to burn in the morning. MTV is starting to look like the mid-70's again with more skin this time and Vietnam is raging in Iraq.

I'm surviving Algebra, French is fantastic and Hawthorne is never out of date. Moby Dick is interminable and Poe depressingly desperate. I can feel the dark gloomy winter days as they leap from his pen.

And life goes on ....

but slow down ..

BotDay May 2, 2006

"I love turkey legs," I scream. As I turn, I see three pairs of chubby legs pumping air trying to escape and stay at the same time.

stay, I beg again
slow down for just one day
stop churning todays
into endless yesterdays

holding my breath
I force my body into stasis
counting one breath into another
sighing wait wait wait

around me
chubby bodies lengthen
slim into long waists and longer legs
pants skitter up towards bony knees
and hugs run towards fairer game

the pause button on my vcr taunts me
with the ability to stop, move backwards
and wait, moments frozen in time
time to savor to imprint, to seal the day

but human I am and pause is beyond
my time forced existence
so I breathe slowly, hug languidly
and time flits by

BotD - March Winds Bring April Showers

The sky is weeping with my mom. Her best friend Shirley is gone, slipped into a fretful sleep and then quietly drifted away yesterday morning. I sorrow for her, and watch her with concern. She's 83 and Shirley was 69. Now who will mom trip around the world with? I guess it's my turn then.

In contrast, my garden is glorious with spring rains and flower seeds I threw out in January. A riot of color, even the roses are chiming in and the Aloe Vera survived the winter. Death and life, a circle. The wake was yesterday, I supplied the angel food cake and quietly left while family and closer friends sorted through stacks of photographs. May she wake in a better place.

I've now officially started playing Kingdom Hearts II, that is when Jennifer will get off my lap and give me the joystick, Jessica will let me play for ten minutes without reminding me it's her turn, and the rest sit next to me and grimace whenever I make a less-than-perfect move. Life is good. I've decided to breathe just as long as I can before I stop.

BotD -- April 24, 2006

No, no, no. It can't be April already!

Okay, fine, it's April, or actually nearly May. My retina is still attached and I'm doing everything I was doing before, just slower.

I crashed and burned trying to write a poem a day. Emily Dickinson I am not. So I'll have to gently review my personal goals and revise revise revise.

I'm working on a short story for a class I had to drop because, well, I couldn't read. Since it was a literature class reading is not optional. But I still like the idea and am trying to get motivated to write. Today though I'm writing a eulogy.

My Mom's Best Friend, Shirley

Gleaming eyes
a smile that softens as it bears down
brows wrinkle in concentration
and then relax
in comprehension

Traveler extraordinaire
no shoes can match your stride
the winged sandals of the messenger
fits you best

You will dance on clouds of light
skip along the golden highway
and plan trip after trip
in the realms of glory

And when I join you
we'll see everything
again.