I haven't blogged much this year ... it's been an odd year since my mom died. I've been out of sorts trying to find a new 'normal'.  There was drama over our grandson who moved back in with us after a year away ... and it was a year of 'aways.'   We went to Berkeley for a week to see family ... I went to the Bahamas with my daughter .. I went back East for my high school reunion .. to visit my elderly aunt .. and stayed in Upstate NY and then finally returned from 12 days in Germany and the Czech Republic last Wednesday culminating in finding my home town on national news from the 10-1 massacre ... Las Vegas.

Like I said ... an odd year.  We lost one Chihuahua and rescued another ... we gave our home a facelift .. bid farewell to friends who would never see the end of 2017 and welcomed a great grandson. Was adopted by a feral kitten and picked the sweetest watermelon I have ever eaten.  I watched my husband begin to relinquish his hold on immortality as I began to questioned my own. I let go of my need to be busy and found two new careers .. one in camera work and the other in accounting.

But the worst bit of this odd year happened last Sunday night. Relaxing in bed we got a call from our Katrina -- our Katlyn was in lock-down in the basement of the Luxor ... calling everyone including her 3-month-old son .. to say goodbye in case she didn't survive ... there was a shooter ... people by the hundreds.. bloodied and panicking .. had rushed past her reception desk  in a frantic search of a safe place to hide from the carnage across the street .. the final night of a music festival.

By 5:30 she was on her way home ... and we breathed a sigh of relief that lasted only as long as the next moment as we learned the names and faces of those who not be going home again ... a heart wrenching anthem of mothers - fathers - sisters - brothers - friends - lovers.  I read of the heroes and heroines ... and I saw a town touted as Sin City show its true colors of honor ... compassion .. and love .. as if by an unspoken accord we began to stand in the gap ... for strangers and family alike.

The horror of that day will fade for those who did not feel that bone chilling fear of loss.  For those who must face grief-stricken days ahead ... you are not alone. We grieve as well .. feel your loss and share your pain.  We could not protect your loved ones  .. or our own ... and thus share a bond forged by grief but strengthened by love.  As you travel a road none would willingly choose .. know that a part of us goes with you ... always.