Blog of the Day -- Aug. 7, 2005

I had breakfast with Lynda this morning. We don't get together often enough and it was, as usual, great. And also, as usual, I've come away with some tidbits that I want to carry with me ... and share with me, and you.

The law versus grace. Okay, I know, sounds like Christian-stuff. That's because it is, that's because I am.

I hate driving slow; I hate it! I always want to drive as fast as I can, make the trip as short as possible, and so I leave to go anywhere at the absolute lastest (it's not a word) minute. But I like to, want to, sometimes to satisfy something inside need to drive fast; and so I do. I've been fortunate. No car accidents, no tickets, and I drive, fast. So, as a result of our breakfast I decide to drive slow. It's difficult. It's difficult because I don't want to drive slow. It's difficult because I don't want to exert self-control. It's difficult because I want what I want. I decide to use my cruise control because it's hard to drive 35 mph when I want to drive 50 mph and the road is clear. That's the law.

I wait for the traffic behind me to become impatient, to roar around me and throw me a disdainful look. Something I've been guilty of, often. I wait for the car to roar around me and for the slow burn that starts at my neck to ascend to my face because he can go fast and I can't and it's not fair because I have decided to obey the law and he/she doesn't have to. It's not rational, but there it is, my self-serving needs. So, I wait, but this time it doesn't happen. And I slowly realize, as I turn into the residential area where I live, that if he did roar around me, my decision to not get mad at him, not to feel angry and self-sacrificing, not to feel justified in being angry, that's grace.