Turn the night
into a day
of love of light
to show the way

Turn the night
from darkness deep
to light so sharp
it's love will keep

Turn the night
one by one
small and tall
to walk to run

turn the night
your heart to keep
turn the night
and then to sleep

Happiness

is to be
thankful
optimistic
underthinking
kind
nurturing
coping
forgiving
flowing
savoring
committed
practicing
caring

but why do we need
a
list?

interrobang

a combination of a
query and interjection
after a rhetorical question
I am an
interrobang

racist

Why I must be a racist:
I'm white
I own a home
I have a job
I'm not poor

I don't live in the ghetto
I have white friends
I go to the mall
I'm white

Why I must not be a racist
I'm English French German Irish Scottish Canadian
My husband is Japanese
My friends run the ethnic scale
From personal experience I understand
pain abuse poverty loss disappointment alienation hunger fear anger
I have been
put down ignored objectified discarded feared threatened

so racism must be in the eyes
of the
beholder
huh!

 

published on FB 9-20-12

the winter of my discontent

it wasn't
winter
it wasn't
mine
it wasn't
discontent
it was
someone's
though

Sorry

I was
inexcusably
incomprehensibly
inexplicably
rude

overtaken by
frustration
disappointment
anger
not related to
you

sorry

I walk
from nowhere to nowhere
one step and the another
heel to toe
arms swinging
my body's rhythm
keeping time with
the wind
as it calls my pace
past the trees
shade and light
dappling my skin
perfumed with salt
elevation propelling breath
and pulling it in
gasps of life
calming on descent
feet soft now hard
until they call for
home

hot
humid
water running in the desert
down my back
salting my face
sweating my neck
pooling in the wash
and then
sluicing down to the ground
a puddle of wet
evaporating
rising
and beginning
again

Baby
coming
growing
erupting
wriggling
growing
oh here he comes

a seed
hidden
deep within
under her heart
nestles
grows
come out and play

Summer
flies
swims
angles
soars
reclines
sweats
burns
and finally
dissolves
into fall

the purpose of life

is just to
be

The Meaning of Life

play
love
live

meaningful life
pray
give
wait

mostly life
coast
slide
frame

moribund life
unmoving
stilted
prosaic

one of those days
interrupts
the meaning of
life

and changes it to another
meaning of
life

missing my
meaning of life
means

my life feels
empty

so chose
and live
on the same
page

Thanks Katrina

I feel my lover coming to me

I can feel the air moving
Bringing him closer
Drawing him to my heart


A whisp on a cloudy night
He fades into my room
Without a sound

Shoes singing on the pavement

snap in time to my heart
Garth Brooks bringing his river
To my side


My heart is like a running deer
Wanting to escape yet wishing to be caught
My mouth captures his, wolves’ fangs
That could devour
Captive to my desire


My lover comes and goes again
My dreams call him forth
And release him again
To the night

Xtremehorticulture of the Desert: Recommended Fruit Tree Varieties for the Mojave Desert

Xtremehorticulture of the Desert: Recommended Fruit Tree Varieties for the Mojave Desert

What a wonderful blog!

the boneyard

lies inside
and out
encircled
by tibias
blanched by the sun
breastplates of ribs
stacked
hiding from peering eyes
flanges of windows
ironclad and dim
the crackle of wheels
on crushed mandibles
announce the arrival
of new grist
for the boneyard
mill

inspired by: http://www.talesfromtheboneyard.com/

boneyard

invisible
encroaching
insubstantial
evervescent
inconsequential
erudite
incandescent
elegy

what happened

what happened
to February
it's April

what happened to winter
it's spring

what happened to
laughing
giggling
smiling

it's been saddened away
sheltered for
better days to come

what happened to life
it's
gone

from the outside in
I am
calm
quiet
professional
unruffled
patient
kind
generous
mildly sarcastic
humorous

from the inside out
I am
frantic
noisy
unprofessional
anxious
impatient
unkind
stingy
rude
sarcastic

and who am I
inside out
or
outside in
or
neither

Three Years

December
small breasts
not much
but mine
small enough to find
a lump

January
the mammogram
the second mammogram
the ultrasound
the news

February
the tests
the surgeon
and what's most import
the question
what's an oncologist

March
diagnosis
more questions
fewer answers
chemo

April
new friends
new vocabulary
new emotions
more chemo

May
tired tired tired
sick sick sick
afraid afraid afraid
angry angry angry
but so tired
more chemo

June
almost done
almost done
my new mantra
almost done with
chemo

July
still tired
still afraid
still angry
but no more
chemo

August
new friends
new vocabulary
new emotions
surgery

September
new friends
new vocabulary
new emotions
radiation

October
radiation isn't a burn
it isn't an abrasion
it's a lack
of skin

November
last day
no more radiation
no more surgery
no more chemo
no more cancer
please please please
no more

December
small breasts
not much but mine
small
one smaller
without it's lump
of
me

I am not the same

I am
stronger
weaker

I am
faster
slower

I am
smarter
and not

cancer
not my cancer
not the cancer
not our cancer
just cancer

has made me less
and
more

Time

First counting
minutes
then hours
days

days were slower
at first
but in retrospect
faster

months
and now
could it be
years
yes
two

Dancing with Spiders

thanks for the inspiration from The Ocean is Always Calling Me

dancing with spiders
jumping with glees
trotting with alligators
please don't eat me

chortling with katydids
long legs so fine
prosperous mantis'
lick their lips but don't whine

mixing with manx's
tropeing with ticks
till my breath is in gasps
and my gizzard's in bits

widows and recluses
stand in confusion
is it lunch . is it breakfast .
are they lunch in profusion

dancing with spiders
my life day to day
poison and danger
come and join the fray

I haven't

posted in so long that my fingers feel awkward on the keys. I have missed this juxtaposition of letters and digits pouring my soul in fits and starts. Racking my mind, then my body and now my soul cancer extracts the price of survival from marrow to mind. I read and read into blogs and posts searching for some glimmer of sanity but find only fear, anger, and little reconciliation. but looking deeper I see hints of contentment, vague tremors of acceptance, touches of the glow of hope within the recesses of pain and fear. So I will grasp the thinner line of hope, find it stronger than my own and pull myself to the surface, again. No drowning today, just damp clothes and the immediate future of a clean warm bed.

Rewind

Back again
that's not right
now there are more tears
in the night

Back again
that's even worse
the future's dimmer
than the verse

Back one more time
but now I see
even more
tragedy

I can't rewind
my game is done
I'll play the hand
my life has won

Darnell Mardis' 'Tears'

Thanks for sharing this Darnell!

Tears don't always cleanse the soul
sometimes they just need someone to hold
that's there to share a moment in time
as life goes forward because it can't rewind.

Like stained glass in a church that's so refined
sometimes they glow and sometimes they just shine
with shapes of wonder that will blow your mind
no two tears are alike history does find

just know that your tears are one of a kind
and that your soul is where their shapes are defined
this precious dew that comes from me and you
also instantly makes heavens angels cry too

how can this be tears that we don't see
seemingly sometimes lands on you and me
because the sky releases more than rain
when we cry heavens angels also feel our pain

so remember that the next time it pours right out of the blue
that angels cry too and their tears end up on you
if i would have known just how precious my tears were
i would have caught them all and none would have hit the earth

and I'd ship them right off to heaven each night when I pray
so that God could use them to water his garden each and every day
I believe that tears were here even before man
because the earth cried out knowing what it would have to withstand

so the oceans and lakes and streams that we see
all came from tears before the start of history
so God surely must have known the depth of pain that's down here
because before there was man there still were
tears